Im In Germany

I know Angela is the right choice for a manager because in less than 2 hours after she became mine I had a cell phone and made two serious connections. In less than 2 weeks of knowing her Im staying in a VERY nice place in Germany (for a week) and getting a lot of rest but the hustle is NO JOKE:

We are always moving. Always hunting. Always networking. Everything - down to the way I eat, has become business. Not gonna lie, it's tiring and I want the payoff NOW. December is a busy month for me now though. Thanks to Angela I got at least two gigs a week, a new performing wardrobe and am headed to Switzerland in January - (not gonna lie, the Switzerland gig was kinda me and my charm but Angela is doin all the negotiatin, all I have to do is get on a train, perform well, sleep, and charm my way into more gigs. Which isa lot too now that I think about it.)

But I honestly dont know how I wouldve done all of this without her. Don't get me twisted - I wouldve done it all had I not met her, I just dont know how and it wouldnt've been this fast.

So, that's where Ive been these past few days - hustlin with Angela. I told her that Im takin today OFF. Well, not all the way off but I need a cretive day. After I finish tellin you all my business Im gonna buckle down and keep workin on my novel.

You know there are a lot of black womyn in Germany?! I knew there were a lot of Africans but I had no idea so many black American womyn moved here until yesterday. Yesterday was Thankgiving. I thought that since I was spending it in Germany that I wasnt going to celebrate it but I thought wrong. A week ago me and Angela went to this club called the Jazzkeller. She introduced me to the owner - a sweet older German man whose name I keep forgetting. He's married to a black American womyn. I think she's from the South. Anyway, he and I talked for a while and he gave me a invite to a private Thanksgiving party. 'My vife und hour entiyer fhamly vill be hure plez velcome!'

So last night I went. On the front door there was a sign in German that read 'Closed for the night, private party'. I went in and could smell the collard greens from the top of the stairs and I smiled and thought 'they didnt season em right' and that thought made me think of my family eatin away and havin a ball at Thanksgivin, critisizin every imperfect dish! I went downstairs and there was food EVERYWHERE. About 5 turkeys, greens galore, corn, chips, salsa, dressing (but it wasn't cornbread dressing - it looked like it was out the box so I didnt eat it) there were all types of breads and  fruits and cheeses and my oldest sister, Ariana, would've pulled out a straight razor over the desert arrangement if she were there! Lawd, every type of cake you can name. Cheese cake, German chocolae cake, carrot cake, strawberry short cake, pound cake. It just went on and on. On stage, there was a live band JAMMIN, the bar was serving $2 drinks all night and there were children, old folks, black folks, Africans, Chinese, Cubans, Germans, Indians, and all types of folks from everywhere. I had some turkey, cranberry and corn. Sat down to enjoy my meal, grooved with the band and looked around till my heart was full. And it finally hit me 'Holy shit, I'm in Germany!'

Two black womyn were conversing near me. One was a heavy set womyn, she looked like she was in her forties but she's black so I know that she is at least ten years older than what I think she is. The other looked like she was my mother's age (turned out to be my grandmother's age) and was built like a 26 year old. I dont know why but when I looked over there all that could come to my mind was 'Chicago'. I asked them where they were from. The heavy set one said 'guess' and I said 'Chicago?' and she said 'how did you know?!' I told her I had absolutely no idea. And the smaller one asked 'so where you think Im from?' and I hunched 'I'm from Las Angelos' I asked them where they lived now and they said Germany. Then more black womyn who knew them joined us. I met a jazz singer named Gina from San Francisco, and an Opera singer named Loren from New York - she was so dark. I wanted to snatch her skin off her body and wear it as mine it was so gorgeous - flawless! We all talked and drank and they all told me how they came to Europe chasin an artistic dream that came true. There were 4 black womny in font of me and more than 100 years of travel experience and artistic develpment and they ALL took time to school me some.

When they finally asked me - not what brought me to Germany, but what gave me the balls to leave the familiarity of home (because so few black American womyn are encouraged or raised to be encouraged to do so) I told them 'I just gotta see if what I imagine is possible' I told them 'In my dreams at night I can fly. I mean - I really can fly. I got it down to a T. There is a button that I push with my soul and it sends me to flight every time a monster comes along or, hell, when Im bored dreamin and just wanna see the earth from another planet, I pick up and fly, and when I wake up, I forget how. Sometimes I spend hours tryin to remember. Now, I aint gonna jump off a building and test it no time soon! But this writing, this is the flight that I imagine in the day time, so I just gotta step out on faith with it and see where the wind takes me.'

They all nodded 'yes'. And for the FIRST time in my life, I felt COMPLETELY understood.

We partied on. Sang some blues to each other - the two womyn that I first met are professional blues singers. They kept tellin me I got a voice meant to sing the blues. I blushed and told em sangin aint my thing. They told me to shut up. I did. lol.

There were men tryin to sit with us all night long. But everytime one came he got 5 sets of eyes that said 'You are in grown womyn's conversation!' And they tucked their tails and crawled away softly while we laughed hard. Lord, did I feel at home! One guy waited till I went to the bar to pick up a round of drinks for me and the womyn to talk to me. He made a joke and I looked at him. He wasn't handsome at all. Stood my height exactly and had a classic style of dress: A vintage white shirt (with an Italian peasant boy cut to it) black slacks, black dress shoes (with a nice shine) and black suspenders. I looked at him and smiled showing no teeth, just trying to be polite. I got the drinks and continued talking with the womyn. Some of the womyn went home erly but I wanted to stay. It was the owners 70th birthday at midnight and I thought the LEAST I could do to say thanks for inviting me to such an awesome party was wish him a Happy Birthday.

Sparkle-candles were passed around and we all sang happy birthday at midnight and the band began to play again - this time with a singer, but all the womyn I met earlier had left and that guy in the suspenders walked up to me with a friend of his and introduced himself 'Hallo, my name is Patrick' I smiled a toothless smile and nodded to be polite, again. His friend intorduced himself - I nodded again. 'And what is your name?'
I smiled big, still, no teeth. 'Why?'
They looked at each other with confused frowns.
'Why do you want to know my name, Patrick?'
He looked shocked and then grinned a huge grin
'Because you are a killer'
I grinned with teeth .
'A killer with an innocense and I want to know where you hide the bodies.'
We both laughed. Me and Patrick chopped it up in jokes and sarcasm and charm the rest of the night. He was really a breath of fresh air. Turns out that he's kinda like a sports doctor for ballet dancers. So he get's paid to make beautiful womyn flexible and fit. I told him what I am trying to do and he bought a DVD. He told me that he is from the northern parts of Germany and began life poor (which is a very hard place to build from in a socailist society) and on a farm. He told me how he worked his way to where he is. He also told me that for the month of December he will be in London, Paris with the ballet dancers and I can either come with him, or stay here in Franfurt all by myself at his home. I chose the latter. lol.